It's a beautiful day for a column today, a beautiful day for a reader. Could you read mine? Would you read mine? Won't you read my column?
Hello again neighbors, it's me, Mr. Rogers, back again in the good old U.S. of A. Not that I wasn't ALWAYS in the USA'I mean, it's not like I spent the last month in Afghanistan waiting for a clear line of fire on Osama bin Laden. That's just silly. In fact, let's pretend I never said anything about it at all, okay, boys and girls?
Besides, who wants to talk about where Mr. Rogers was or wasn't when there's such an exciting holiday around the corner? That's right boys and girls, I'm talking about Thanksgiving. As you might remember, last year I talked about the first Thanksgiving and the impact of European settlement in America on the American Indians. What's that? You don't remember?
Well, Mr. Rogers can sum it up in two words. Can you say \screw job,"" boys and girls? Next time your mother tells you to finish your dinner, tell her it's a ""screw job"" and see what happens.
For this year's article, then, I thought I'd talk about the different types of food served at the first Thanksgiving and how to prepare each as a tasty dish for your own Thanksgiving dinner.
For an appetizer, I'd like to suggest'
KNOCK, KNOCK!
Why who could that be boys and girls? Shhhh, let's be real quiet and see.
What's that? Why is Mr. Rogers turning off the lights and creeping to the window? Well, that's because sometimes Mr. Rogers' ex-wife's lawyer likes to stop by with letters for Mr. Rogers and if Mr. Rogers pretends he's not home he doesn't have to receive those nasty letters right away. Now then, who could this be? Why it's Chancellor John D. Wiley! Come on in, J.D.
""Thank you, Mr. Rogers, it's a pleasure being here.""
Well, it's a pleasure to have you here, Chancellor. After all, you are my second favorite person with the initials J.D.
""I know what you mean Mr. Rogers, I'm a big John Denver fan myself.""
John Denver? *Ahem* What brings you to the neighborhood, Chancellor?
""We were hoping you could do a quick explanatory piece on how to register for classes.""
I think Matt did one on registering last year. In fact, I think it was two parts, and that they ran it again in the summer.
""Oh. Well, then it wouldn't be any trouble to run it again, huh?""
Well no, but this isn't Matt's week, this is Mr. Rogers' week, and Mr. Rogers doesn't feel like doing a registration article. Mr. Rogers graduated from college before the readers were born. He knows nothing about a touchtone system, for crying out loud! He ran around the campus on his registration day with a piece of chalk so he could sign up on blackboards of the rooms where he wanted to take classes!
""Oh. Hmmmm ?? So then ??""
Soooooo?
""You wanna, I don't know, go see a movie
or something?""
Actually, I'm right in the middle of a column as you can see, so if you don't mind?
""Say no more, I'll just show myself out.""
Thank you. Now, as I was saying, for an appetizer you can start with'
Glad you read mine, glad'
Wait, you can't roll the end music yet! I haven't even gotten to the squash! This is perfect, just fu'
Glad you read mine, glad you read mine, glad you read my column.
OUT!
