On this Wisconsin campus, there are people who are leaders in their respective academic fields. Stem cells, political theory, etc., UW-Madison houses some of the most brilliant minds of the day. However, you will not find the works of our greatest minds in a lab or a classroom. They are on the stalls of the 4th floor men's bathroom in Van Hise Hall.
What is that, you say? A men's bathroom? Why a men's bathroom? Well, that is where I've learned some of the greatest lessons in my life. For instance, I learned that \frat boys like it up the butt."" Or that ""the government is stealing my soul, man."" Or that ""Mike S. just got laid last night.""
Art at the Elvehjem might be beautiful, but how can we ignore the breathtaking skill it must take to draw a voluptuous woman with her legs spread? Not only that, but the fact that they point out ""those ARE my girlfriend's proportions"" is just mind-boggling.
What is even greater than these works of art are those who find the time out of their busy schedule in the bathroom to comment on these stalls with retorts like, ""Man, you are gey!"" Then, apparently, a very concerned English major arrived and corrected the spelling by writing, ""That's GAY, you retard.""
Then, an activist for the rights of the mentally challenged added his thoughtful remark, ""Lay off the retards you dumb m''''a."" I find it wonderful that so many people can come along and grace the Van Hise stalls with thoughtful, and often insightful, commentary about their fellow man, all the while adding arrows in order for an unenlightened man like myself to follow the trail of intelligent dialogue.
I can only hope that the man who originally wrote ""Man, you are gey,"" would arrive back to ponder his work and realize, ""Hey, some gentleman corrected my spelling error. Man, I'm glad he wrote that because I would've walked around believing that gay was spelled with an ""e."" Wow, is egg on my face!"" Because that is the only reason that I could imagine why people keep on writing on the walls. That, or else they are so ignorant that they cannot get it past themselves that writing on a bathroom stall is usually not the best way to communicate one's feelings about our society.
This has got to be one of the most needlessly stupid practices we have on this campus. If you write crap on the stalls, why? Honestly, are you so bored while taking a crap that you need to write, ""There is no God""? While I don't look down upon pondering one's existence while on the toilet, why must you write it on the toilet? Why is it so important to say that you must write it, right there, right now so that we all can read it? Are you that starved for attention?
I really don't know what to offer for a solution. Only that some people should just bring a friggin' magazine instead of writing one on the stalls. This is only my opinion, but maybe we should leave the crap in the toilet.
