Before I begin, let me say that we are all here at UW-Madison to gain a higher understanding of ourselves and the world around us. That said, I would like to suggest that there are both stupid questions AND stupid people. However, they're not just your run-of-the-mill airheads. No, sometimes they come in great quasi-intellectual packages!
They usually come in two forms. One form is the type of person who will quote useless facts in order to make themselves appear intelligent in front of others. This person will usually mention Plato, Aristotle, St. Augustine and other dead philosophers in otherwise unnecessary contexts.
They usually don't do enough research to understand the context and intention of the author. Rather, they just picked the saying up somewhere and figured it must be true since it's in quotation marks. The rationale here is usually, 'Well, I saw it once written in pink chalk on the sidewalk, so it must be true.'
For instance, I have heard the line, 'Plato once said that it is just to honor in those ways those of the young who are good and true,' in response to the question, 'Could the U.S. have intervened effectively before the Holocaust'? This response made no sense, but it sounded really impressive to use Plato, right? I am tempted to start every sentence with 'Plato said.' For instance:
'How does the Pack look this year'?
'Well, Plato once said that Favre will lead the Packers to the Super Bowl.'
The second type of quasi-intellectual is even more annoying. They're the ones who must say something on every subject. Their questions are often just be a regurgitation of what the lecturer just said. For instance:
Lecturer: 'The colonies were fiercely independent from each other between 1783 and 1789.'
Quasi-Intellectual: 'So, what you are saying is that they refused to collaborate with each other between 1783 and 1789'?
The question was very unnecessary, but the 'intellectual' got to speak, and that's what is important here. They like to hear the sound of their own voices. Apparently, they can't rely on their own intelligence to just comprehend and let information settle, but they feel the need to raise their hands and say exactly what the lecturer just said in order to let the class know, 'Hey, I'm here and I know what he just said. Good for me!'
Quasi-intellectuals also need to throw in words with four or more syllables to show that passed the vocabulary section on the SAT. Or else they need to reply with some sort of political slant in order to polarize an issue. These are the same bastards who needs to talk politics at keggers.
Guy: 'Hey, this is some good Busch Lite.'
Intellectual: 'Too bad we can't say the same about President Bush, man. He's oppressing the proletariat working man with his autocratic policies.'
My point is that we are all intelligent people here. We don't need to prove it all of the time. Do your homework. Let others speak in class. And stop pushing your views on others with quasi-intellectual language in order to make yourself feel better.
But as Plato once said, 'That's just me.'
michaeljones@students.wisc.edu
