The first year of college can be a challenge. Being an out-of-state student at a school that’s predominantly populated by in-state kids can be an even bigger challenge. For the most part, you’re far from home, you know relatively few people when you first enroll and you feel like you have little in common with a lot of people. With the right attitude, however, being from another region of the world can be immensely rewarding and eye-opening. Here’s how: Drop the Skype call, and nobody gets hurt.
Being far from a majority of your friends and family will make you feel the need to constantly keep in touch with people. Your in-state counterparts, who will have many of their friends at school with them, and know that they can easily drive home to see their loved ones, won’t find it so imperative. By spending exorbitant amounts of time in your room talking to your friends/family/significant others, you’re losing time that could be spent creating and strengthening bonds with people here. Many of the fondest memories I have from my first year in Madison were times when I made the conscious decision to put myself out there, rather than turn in and talk to people hundreds of miles away. Save the FaceTime and Skype calls for times when you have absolutely nothing else to do. Your loved ones will always be there later; for now, the real priority is making sure you have a core here.
Get involved in any way possible. In-state students who enter the school already knowing dozens of people won’t always get involved with clubs or organizations, because they already have strong friendships to rely on. This may seem to put you at a disadvantage, but in reality it can be a huge plus. Forcing yourself to get involved with things will open doors and opportunities you’d never see coming. Try out as many groups as possible; even if only one of them ends up being right for you, it will be worth it. Even activities you don’t decide to stick with can be a huge aide socially: clubs you end up leaving or music groups you don’t get chosen for can still create opportunities and friendships. FIGs, organizations, clubs and other groups are essential social opportunities that shouldn’t be missed. They can provide structured social time and allow you to explore and expand on various interests.
Embrace the “coastie” within. The term “coastie” is applied, usually playfully, to out-of-state kids (from one of the two coasts). Some don’t like the term; it makes them feel different and outcast. But owning your differences and where you come from can give you your own unique identity. Instead of feeling down about not being from Wisconsin, being a proud DC native has made me feel unique to people who have tons of friends from every town in the Badger State, but know almost no one from my neck of the woods.
Befriend anyone and everyone. Sometimes, in-state kids gravitate towards other in-state kids at the beginning, and out-of-staters cling to one another too. The temptation is understandable: other kids who come from your area and who also don’t know many people at the school are appealing friendship candidates. My first three (and to this day some of my closest) friends here were all from other areas of the country; we were brought together by our shared interests, but also by the fact that we were all new to the place. Gradually, however, the one thing that everyone does have in common—being a UW student—becomes the most important determinant when it comes to making friends.
College is a marathon, not a sprint. Everyone tells you that college flies by. In certain ways, it does. But keeping in mind exactly how much time you have is important. If you don’t have a best friend after several months, it’s really not the end of the world. Think about how long it took you to adjust socially in high school. It’s not unusual to have a similar adjustment period in college. Four years is a long time, and every day brings something new. It’s normal to feel lonely or homesick or like you don’t belong, and most people do feel that way at one point or another. By realizing that your college career stretches out for a long time, you’ll realize that most negative feelings will fade over time. College is great, but you can’t expect it to be great every second of every day. It takes time to come together. With that knowledge in mind, you can go forward and make the best of the four years you get in this amazing place we call home.
Sebastian is a sophomore majoring in environmental studies. Please send all comments, questions and concerns to opinion@dailycardinal.com.
