The Beet


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Mushroom trip inspires man to go into accounting

“The soil … it provides nutrients to the trees. The trees grow apples … during the trip I thought the red M&M and his family were stuck, but anyway —”


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Anti-weed politicians can’t relate to feeling connected to others, genuinely smiling

“I didn’t even feel that way when Hurricane Sandy hit New York City,” scoffed a perturbed Mitch McConnell. 


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Local mom distraught after reading favorite salad dressing laced with fentanyl

 The fear mongering post has already received over 4,000 shares.


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