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(05/02/02 6:00am)
So, this is my last column, and it's time to wrap things up.
First, I'd like to thank both of you for reading this all year. I
hope I helped you find a good movie and avoid a bad one. Secondly,
I'd like to thank the Cardinal, where I grew up writing comics and
arts surrounded by some of the smartest, funniest people I have
ever known. Third, I'd like, in some small way, to inspire everyone
to demand more and take more out of movies. I promise that the more
you put into watching a film, the more satisfaction you'll get from
it.
(04/25/02 6:00am)
Rarely, rarely do I go to a movie more than once. One, they're
so expensive. Two, if I like it that much, I'll save my money to
buy it when it comes out on DVD. Three, all the suspense and
unexpected jokes lose something the second time around. But I could
not wait to go back to \Last Orders,"" seeing it twice this
weekend. I might even go again.
(04/19/02 6:00am)
Limited release of a film means one of two things: It's
wonderful enough that word of mouth alone will make it a success,
or it's so bad that it can't risk paying for too many prints.
\Human Nature"" had all the potential to be the former'a successful
writer, a fresh director with a great track record in music videos
and commercials--but, man, is this film a disappointment!
Floundering somewhere between comedy, dark comedy and anti-comedy,
the latest film from the writer of ""Being John Malkovich"" doesn't
know if it wants to make you laugh, think or wait for something to
happen.
(04/11/02 6:00am)
It's spring'time to air out the apartment, time to ignore the
mounting papers and midterms, time to rest up between rejection
letters for internships. Now is when we can go to a mindless, vapid
comedy and enjoy ourselves before the barrage of finishing school.
We've caught up on the important Oscar contenders; we saw our share
of depressing foreign films at the film fest. We're owed a movie
with at least one good bong joke. \National Lampoon's Van Wilder,""
why have you forsaken us? We just wanted one or two funny
jokes.
(04/04/02 6:00am)
I must be a horrible film critic. For the life of me, I can
never get into the mindset of backing the party line. Sure, I go
into a movie offended at its over-marketing. I remain wary of an
actor I know has made bad choices before. I remember the pandering
directors sink to on the E! Channel. But still, I'm willing to wipe
the slate clean and look at a movie on its own level. That's why I
stand almost alone among critics in liking \Death to
Smoochy.""
(03/21/02 6:00am)
I went into \Ice Age"" expecting to hate it. After all, others
said it wasn't as smart as ""Shrek,"" my least favorite animated
film of all time. But, about a half-hour into the movie, I realized
that critics are a sullen crowd, happier with cynicism than
sincerity. Where ""Shrek"" had been low blows and knowing in jokes,
""Ice Age"" is earnest and honest. While it is not stunning or
grand, ""Ice Age"" does well to reach its modest goals.
(03/14/02 6:00am)
This past year has seen a deluge of what I will call art house
horror. Highly stylized and written for a literate audience, movies
like \The Others,"" ""Donnie Darko,"" ""Jeepers Creepers"" and
""From Hell"" tried their best to reclaim the genre from the
slasher and teen flicks of the '80s and '90s. ""The Devil's
Backbone,"" directed by Guillermo del Toro, leaves them all in its
dust. Tightly crafted, both visually and narratively, this Spanish
film shows what a horror movie can be at its very best.
(03/07/02 6:00am)
Oh man, I was so ready to write this long diatribe about the
misanthropic and pessimistic Todd Solondz, but he beat me to the
punch. His latest film, \Storytelling,"" plays like a Socratic
dialectic, answering its critics before they have a chance to
speak. The movie reaches a point of being so self-serving that it's
at once a welcome relief from his previous work and an insult to
its audience.
(02/28/02 6:00am)
Don't you ever worry about what your kids will be exposed to?
Years from now when I have kids with an insatiable need for videos,
I don't want to sit them in front of corporate branding
investments. I've already picked out the modern classics I will
force them to sit through'every Muppet and non-Muppet Jim Henson
film, every Pixar movie, \The Iron Giant""'but, what is that, like
twelve hours? When global warming means we can't go outside, twelve
hours of videos will seem like the blink of a dry, UV-addled eye.
That's why now is the time to pick through those second-tier
children's movies, scanning for quality.
(02/21/02 6:00am)
There's something unique about sketch comedy, something like a
gamble. Almost always you have multiple writers, each chipping in a
joke or situation here and there. The way it should work is that
you get only the best from each; the combined glimpses of genius
from many comedians. Plus, there's the safety net that comes from
each having to prove his or her jokes to the other writers. But
there are risks. Since all the comedians are friends, inside jokes
slip through'jokes that rely more on knowing the person telling
them than anything else make it to the final draft. And some things
one writer would have in his mind the whole time'story arc,
consistency of quality, major themes'get ignored to fit in funny
episodes.
(02/14/02 6:00am)
So, I'm walking out of the Majestic theater after seeing \Donnie
Darko"" with my friend, Sean, when a woman with a pleasantly raspy
smoker's voice overhears us discussing the movie and stops us to
tell us a funny story. Apparently, she was in town with ""The
Sunshine Boys,"" starring Dick Van Patten and Frank Gorshin, who
played the Riddler on the Batman Show. That's enough for a story
right there, but it gets better.
(02/07/02 6:00am)
Lots of good movies get lost in the mix. I'm not talking about
mediocre movies or ones that don't have anything going for them.
No, I mean those movies that you walk away from fully entertained
and pleased with having spent your money. These are the ones that
get talked about the least, and \Birthday Girl"" is one of
them.
(01/31/02 6:00am)
It's easy to dislike a movie because of its genre. Everyone has
his or her personal tastes when it comes to things like horror or
Westerns. The real problem comes when one confuses which genre a
film is trying to fall into. People would find problems with \The
Godfather"" if they tried to apply to it the rules of a backstage
musical. So, it's important to understand a movie like ""I am Sam""
as a melodrama, not a drama, and judge it from that
standpoint.
(01/24/02 6:00am)
A great movie gives you a parting gift. It can be a rush of
adrenaline that leadens your accelerator foot. It can be a slight
Irish accent you unconsciously mimic. It can be a
hand-holding-let's-go-skipping-through-puddles thing. But, the best
movies give you this feeling of being totally fulfilled. \Gosford
Park"" is the most recent film in a growing list that gave me that
gift.
(12/12/01 6:00am)
All semester, you've been too busy or too poor to make it out to
the movies. \The Man Who Wasn't There"" was good? Yeah, I had like
four papers due. Well, winter break just happens to coincide with
the rapid-fire release of some of the year's strongest movies
hoping to catch Oscar's eye. Coincidence? Yes, the word
""coincide"" suggests that. Take advantage of your break and your
parents' pocketbooks while you can.
(12/06/01 6:00am)
Well, it's fast approaching the end of the year. We all know
what that means'best movies of the year lists! Here's the thing,
though: I don't know what the best movies of the year are. I live
in Madison, Wis.; I barely have a chance to see the successful
movies, let alone the best ones. Those are probably just now
hitting the art houses of New York to squeak in Oscar
contentions.
(11/29/01 6:00am)
Steve Martin is my idol. He's smart, funny, cultured. It's not
like I want to be in a relationship with him or anything (though I
do think it's cool that he dated feminist photographer Cindy
Sherman), but if he ever wanted to adopt me, I would sit my parents
down for a long talk.
(11/15/01 6:00am)
Jokes have victims. Anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't have
a sense of humor. Jokes have victims, and somebody gets hurt, and
that's the whole point of jokes. Sometimes you can let your victims
in on to the joke as a consolation. Other times you can make the
jokes intentionally unfunny as a way of reversing victimhood into
herohood. But you can't do both at once.
(11/08/01 6:00am)
I've been working through this grand scheme of farce vs. satire
in modern film and TV. So far, all I have is a convoluted thesis
that's totally at the whim of whichever mode of humor I prefer at
the moment. The best way I can think of to flesh it out is to just
go through some examples, so that's what I'll do with \Wet Hot
American Summer."" Read quickly, because today is the last day of
its short run in Madison.
(10/18/01 6:00am)
I approached David Lynch's new film 'Mulholland Drive' neither
as a harsh critic or a staunch fan. Maybe that's the best way to go
about it, because I came away with a greater enjoyment than some
hardcore 'Twin Peaks' fans who went.