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(11/30/17 1:00pm)
As air travel ramps up during the final months of 2017, the Transportation Security Administration are instituting a new policy requiring pregnant mothers to remove their fetuses and place them in separate bins at the security checkpoint.
(11/23/17 6:00am)
With a twinge of longing in his eyes, local grandfather Ernie Komiskey stared at the roast turkey in the center of the Thanksgiving spread, wishing he could join it in death.
(11/16/17 10:17pm)
According to Sewell Social Sciences men’s room sources, the university-supplied toilet paper used to wipe the bum of senior Peter Olson is so fragile, it rivaled his masculinity complex in terms of frailty.
(11/09/17 2:00pm)
Norwegian black metal moguls Mayhem put on a dramatic exhibit at the Majestic Theatre Tuesday night, playing the entirety of their highly influential 1994 debut album, De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas. Known for using pseudonyms for their stage aliases, the active lineup featured one founding member, bassist Necrobutcher, who was absent from the group during the record’s production. Active in Mayhem since 1988, drummer Jan Blomberg, who is known for his work as Hellhammer in many black metal groups, was present for the entirety of the album’s development. Singer Attila Csihar joined on temporarily to track its vocals before becoming a permanent member more than a decade later.
(11/06/17 12:00pm)
I was introduced to Slowdive by a close friend on a road trip more than two years ago. Zigzagging through the dry hills of southern California in May, I was intrigued by the group’s mellow psychedelia. My occasional listening and modest fanhood provided a gateway into the shoegaze genre, but my expectations for their live act were inadequate. Witnessing their profound showcase served to reinforce the value of seeing live music.
(11/02/17 11:55pm)
Aaron Thatcher, an actor who portrays University of Wisconsin mascot Bucky Badger has been struggling to separate his work and home life lately, according to his girlfriend.
(11/02/17 1:00pm)
Aaron Thatcher, an actor who portrays University of Wisconsin mascot Bucky Badger has been struggling to separate his work and home life lately, according to his girlfriend.
(10/26/17 12:00pm)
Speedy Ortiz frontwoman Sadie Dupuis effused flower power on center stage Tuesday night. She wore a floral print top, a skirt and a flower pin in her hair, distancing her look from the dreary Madison weather. Her bright blue, bejeweled guitar stood out as it was fretted by Dupuis’s highlighter-orange and yellow nails. To her left, the black-and-blue-haired bassist wore black clothes and strummed with black nails, providing a stark contrast to the lead vocalist. A second guitarist and a drummer who provided backing vocals rounded out the indie quartet.
(10/19/17 12:00pm)
The World Is a Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die took the flannel-clad audience at High Noon Saloon for a nonlinear journey through sounds from the last 20 years. Sometimes using fusions of genres and other times distributing a more focused tone, the band’s set was never short on dynamics.
(10/13/17 11:00am)
A sea of heads fell forward and back rhythmically, worshipping the beat of the unrelenting crash cymbal. The display was extremely loud. Reverberations could be felt from the ground all the way up to the waists of concertgoers. When my phone vibrated, I didn’t notice. This was the scene at High Noon Saloon for much of Bongripper’s hour-long set on Wednesday night. The Chicago-based doom quartet released a heavy dose of ceaseless noise upon their admirers. Formed in 2006, Bongripper regularly feature wordplay and references to marijuana in their titles — "Reefer Sutherland" is the first track on their Spotify profile.
(10/12/17 12:15pm)
MADISON, WI — Extending on its already record streak, University Avenue in downtown was recognized as the most puked upon street in the US by the Princeton Review for the seventh year in a row.
(10/09/17 7:02pm)
The layout of Memorial Union’s Shannon Hall, the venue of Tanya Tagaq’s Madison concert, necessitated audience members to sit down, and so did her performance.
(06/20/17 5:00pm)
“How do you rip people off without them knowing it?”
(06/12/17 12:30pm)
Prospective business major Nick Rinaldi arrived at freshmen orientation sporting a two-piece suit, enabling him to meet roughly half of the Wisconsin School of Business’ graduation requirements.In accordance with School of Business bylaws, Rinaldi was immediately sent to meet with Dean François Ortalo-Magné by his SOAR advisor upon checking in.“When I received word about [Rinaldi’s] appearance, I knew I had to have him come to my office right away,” Ortalo-Magné said.While the majority of SOAR attendees donned shorts and other typical summer garb, Rinaldi stood out in his outfit which featured black Cole Haan dress shoes and a shiny blue tie. Though he was not a direct admit to the Business School from his application, Rinaldi was accepted to the management program and granted junior standing immediately.According to Ortalo-Magné, the majority of the undergraduate degree requirements relate to dress and networking, so it was only appropriate to fasttrack the 18-year-old to upperclassmen status.“I was bored scrolling through LinkedIn one night and decided to peek at some of the degree requirements,” Rinaldi told Cardinal reporters. “I saw all these courses about where to buy nice suits and stuff so I figured why not wear one to orientation?”Other students expressed confusion about Rinaldi’s fashion decision on an 88 degree day.“Who was that guy?” SOAR group mate Ryan Sköglund inquired. “I thought he was going to be promoting a Mormon student organization or something.”Another student, who spoke with The Cardinal under the condition of anonymity, described Rinaldi as a “sweaty tryhard.”With his sights set on graduating in 2019, Rinaldi appeared unfazed by his peers’ comments.“You can never be too well prepared,” he said. “I was rehearsing firm, dry handshakes with my dad last night.”However, according to Ortalo-Magné, Rinaldi could have been better equipped.“If [Rinaldi] had brought business cards, he would be a senior right now,” he said.
(05/25/17 5:11pm)
This column begins with some good news and some bad news. The bad news is, baseball season is already more than a quarter of the way through. The good news? We still have almost 75 percent of the regular season to look forward to. With most of the year still to come, big moves made now still have a substantial impact on your season’s outcome and it may be time to make some of those difficult and risky moves. So which struggling stars should you let go of? And for whom? How do you know when it’s time to give up?
(05/02/17 10:26pm)
They say April power brings May… I don’t know. The first month of baseball is in the books, and what a month it was. The season is just about one sixth of the way through, and a window for key fantasy decisions has been opened. Roster moves over the next month or two have the potential to completely alter your trajectory, so it’s time to be very particular with regards to player evaluations.
(04/14/17 12:03pm)
One week into the 2017 MLB season designates the beginning of overreaction theatre. Bravo! Big league and fantasy managers alike will respond to a week of evidence in favor of longstanding trends and principles of smart decision making as they scramble to keep their ships afloat. Much volatility exists in player performance in baseball, and making sense of the noise affords tremendous opportunity for fantasy owners. A critical question must be asked: What do we respond to and what do we ignore?
(03/29/17 1:01am)
Greetings! To introduce myself briefly, I am an impassioned fantasy baseballer of approximately one decade who has won four of his past five leagues. I may not be fully qualified to write an advice column but I can’t possibly do a worse job than Jim Leyland did managing Team USA in the World Baseball Classic.
(02/23/17 12:00pm)
Cleveland Cavaliers guard Kyrie Irving showed an inability to express the shape of an approved NBA basketball, when pressed Wednesday.The former Duke University standout failed to provide a definitive response upon the request from The Daily Cardinal reporters to dictate what type of geometric figure he believed a standard-issue Spalding league ball to be.“I don’t know,” Irving said. “Whatever shape it may be, I’m not familiar with it.”Irving raised eyebrows around the NBA media and fan communities last week when he professed that he understood the Earth to be flat rather than round. The star’s defiance of what was considered to be a consensus among Westerners for centuries prior prompted many to probe Irving with other shape-related queries.“It doesn’t matter if Ky knows what shape the ball is,” teammate LeBron James said of the 38 percent lifetime three-point shooter. “He sure knows how to handle it.”According to league-partner manufacturer Spalding, official NBA game balls are 100 percent leather, roughly 30 inches in circumference and spherical in structure.When asked to relate the format of his home planet and the recreational tool his profession revolves around, Irving issued a request to be dismissed from the interview, which Cardinal staffers granted.Golden State Warriors forward Draymond Green publicly sided with Irving over the All-Star break when he implied that it would be difficult to stand on the Earth if it were indeed round, as scientists claim.At press time, Green has not responded to The Daily Cardinal’s Facebook message requesting comment on the matter.
(12/01/16 12:00pm)
In commendable and exciting fashion, Wisconsinite Ryan Burrows, 24, took the life of a wild deer using a high-powered rifle Tuesday.Burrows’ masculinity was on full display as he managed to discharge a 30-caliber round into the chest of the deer from about 40 feet away, knocking the animal over prior to its death seconds after.“Look at this big boy,” Burrows said, describing his victim triumphantly to Cardinal reporters. “I got him in one shot.”Burrows had been taking part in an act of heroism known as hunting, in which humans combine skill, bravery and lethal technology to slay wild animals solely for enjoyment. Though the operation was dangerous and required courage, Burrows refused to let fear consume him.“I wasn’t scared at all,” he said. “I saw the buck there, tried to remain calm and blew him away. Man, that was a hell of a shot.”The killing process—which Burrows executed to perfection—required him to initially aim his gun toward the deer and then pull the trigger, initiating a quick chain reaction that led to the expulsion of a metal projectile travelling at over 1,000 mph on its way to piercing several of the animal’s vital organs. “If I missed, he probably would have scurried away before I could get the next round off,” Burrows explained.At press time, it remains undetermined whether or not the deer was able to see Burrows, who was wearing camouflage patterned clothing.