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(01/25/24 8:00am)
The University of Wisconsin-La Crosse’s well-endowed former Chancellor Joe Gow faced fire for his personal hobbies, but a deeper dive shows that our erotic educator is a lustful labellum whisked away by a unilaterally uptight university system.
(03/31/22 7:00am)
The jokes are made roughly 1,256,928 times per day — “You identify as a man/woman? Then I identify as an Apache Attack Helicopter.” Better yet, “I identify as a cat — treat me accordingly.” Well, Jeff, considering that you were excited to drop a deuce in a public playground’s sandbox after leaving the bar last weekend, I guess that’s only fair.
(03/30/22 7:00am)
Millions of girls around the world have been referred to as “tomboys” from the time they were a child. In my case, as well as many others, this is known as “having an older brother” or “liking sports.” Whereas in younger years tomboys are treated as rough-and-tumble little ladies going through a phase, people seem to forget that it’s not always temporary.
(03/28/22 7:00am)
They say an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
(01/27/22 1:31pm)
Two years into this pandemic and, while there is ample criticism of the government and other institutions for failing to implement measures that make it easier for people to be safe, I don’t see enough criticism of those who are dying.
(01/27/22 11:00am)
As roughly 2,000 people a day in the US are dying from COVID-19, most of which is likely due to the new omicron variant, some have started questioning if it really is as mild as many prominent voices were saying.
(03/26/21 1:00pm)
Hey Almanac readers! We hope you enjoyed the special edition of our beloved column this week. The Almanac editors would like to opportunity to share some really exciting news: this section now has a podcast! (not at all related to our article published from a few weeks back about another mediocre white guy starting one) We’d love if you’d take a minute to sit back and enjoy 4 of UW-Madisons dullest students talk about random shit.
(03/25/21 1:00pm)
Coastal students at UW-Madison, commonly known as Coasties, have started an effort to address income inequality after listening to their econ professor, Daveed Johnston, talk for two minutes and then tune out everything that applied to them.
(03/25/21 1:00pm)
If you’re like me and have no sex, you probably spend a lot of time thinking about Elon Musk, easily the worst person on the planet — yes, even worse than Tom Brady.
(03/18/21 2:00pm)
After intense internet backlash following director Malcolm Lee’s decision to desexualize the image of Lola Bunny in the upcoming remake of the classic 1996 film “Space Jam”, Warner Bros has announced that a triple-X cut of the movie will be released later this year.
(02/04/21 2:00pm)
Madison residents and students were not surprised over the prediction gifted by Punxsutawney Phil Tuesday morning. Although him seeing his shadow usually signifies 6 more weeks of winter, most Midwesterners don’t hold his forecast highly.
(09/17/20 2:00pm)
In a semester that is now entirely online, several professors have chosen to implement new technology to ensure academic honesty. Many classes now require students to use certain programs which can detect if students open up a new window during online exams, or even video a student’s room to catch if notes are being used.
(09/10/20 2:00pm)
The COVID-19 pandemic has created a host of new situations that the world is still learning how to adapt to. For instance, how should schools approach reopening their classrooms? What are options for people to vote safely in upcoming elections? Should sports teams plan on making a comeback?
(09/10/20 2:00pm)
Controversy has mounted recently in response to a tweet by Starship robot F13G78A2, who simply goes by Helen. After tweeting — and then deleting — a post on Thursday which read “Starship Lives Matter,” many have spoken out saying that the tweet was offensive and inappropriate.
(04/28/20 12:19am)
Whether it’s by the women’s restroom at Dave & Buster's or tucked away behind the electronic dart board at your local pizza restaurant, the claw machine continues to be the bane of human existence. It is indiscriminate. Regardless of race, class or religion, the claw machine will stare you down and assert its almighty dominance.
(04/24/20 10:52pm)
Due to the global coronavirus pandemic, Dean of Students Lori Berquam wasn’t the only one saying “don’t go” to Mifflin this year. Governor Evers got in on the action by passing the "Safer at Home" order which prohibits public gatherings until May 26th. Of course, that didn’t stop the most ‘murican of Americans from descending on Madtown for the occasion.
(04/23/20 4:09pm)
(04/21/20 3:27pm)
Nothing makes a Wisconsinite’s skin crawl more than a goddamn FIB (Fucking Illinois Bastard) cutting across four lanes of traffic while eating a deep-dish pizza so you can stare at the Chicago Bears decal and license plate border on the back of their compact sedan. FIBs are to Sconnies as treadmills to Chris Christie.
(04/25/20 2:33am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
(04/17/20 2:15am)
Karen McSmith — styled as @ksmizzy on Instagram — made waves last evening with clips she posted on her Instagram during the afternoon. Known to her millions of adoring fans — popularly called the Smizzy Army — as an influencer, she took to social media to address them during these uncertain times.