This Sunday, some TV people got together to talk about TV on TV. You may have heard.
Naturally, all the talk about TV and the Emmy Awards got me thinking about… TV.
Unfortunately, I don’t watch that much TV. In fact, I’m not really sure if my set works—it’s currently propped up on some milk crates in my underfurnished living room.
Nonetheless, I wanted to get in on the discussions about cool shows.
However, since I lack substantive knowledge of most TV shows, I figured all I could contribute to the conversations was an outsider’s thoughts on some of today’s top programs. So, I present to you my understanding and comments on popular TV shows and their audiences based on second-hand knowledge and very limited viewing.
“Breaking Bad”
This show centers on meth and thugs and the dad from “Malcolm in the Middle.”
“Breaking Bad” fans’ addiction to this show mirrors that of a meth user’s addiction to the actual drug. The slightest mention of the vaguest “Breaking Bad” spoiler (e.g.: “You know IT happens.”) to a regular viewer ignites in the seemingly well-adjusted person a level of rage comparable to that of a twice-crossed drug lord. Despite people’s constant fear of spoilers, everything I read about this show appears to be the same basic piece of information: Someone gets involved with meth dealing/buying/using and ends up dead.
“Downton Abbey”
A bunch of British people live together in a big house. There are maids. They are not happy maids. The term “weekend” has not yet been invented. It’s always rainy.
This seems like the kind of show my grandma would be into, but somehow the little bit of information I have about this show comes from my 22-year-old friends who like to watch this show while raging.
“Game of Thrones”
This show’s title is exceptionally cryptic. What could it possibly be about? A deceitful royal family? A competition among monarchs? Rounds of hardcore musical chairs? Pictures I’ve seen on Facebook show a lot beautiful people covered in soot and maybe some dragons?
Some of my close friends watch the show, and based on what I overhear, every episode appears to include deadly sword fights and boobies flailing everywhere.
“House of Cards”
This title is mysterious yet catchy, like “Game of Thrones.” It is also equally unhelpful in informing the viewer what the show is about. I’ve been told this show is about politics? But you could tell me it was one of those extreme poker shows and I’d have no reason not to believe you…
“Teen Wolf”
There is a teen. He (she?) is also a wolf. Hence, said adolescent is a teen wolf.
“Mad Men”
I’ve actually seen this show a couple of times, so I can’t claim complete ignorance. However, I’ve only seen like three episodes from different seasons, so my understanding is a little blurred. Here’s what I gathered from the parts I’ve seen:
A man named Don Draper looks exceptionally fine and sells ads. Psych. That man actually isn’t a man named Don Draper who sells ads. He is still exceptionally fine. It is the 1960s. But seriously, it’s the 1960s.
“Girls”
Some really cool, relatable women (girls?) live in a really cool neighborhood and are really cool but don’t have jobs. They want really cool jobs. One of the actresses who plays a woman/girl is named Lena. She is really cool.
“The Tudors”
Henry VIII is a hot mess. He has sex with a woman named Anne or Catherine or Jane. Lights have not yet been invented. Every once in a while, people eat a feast. Henry has more sex with Anne or Catherine or Jane.
That’s all, folks! Let Rachel know what these shows are actually about by emailing rmschulze@dailycardinal.com.