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Monday night, Democrats across Wisconsin cheered as Gov. Scott Walker officially announced he was ending his 2016 presidential campaign. The decision came after recent polls showed Walker with less than 1 percent of the vote. However, if you are a Democrat, now is not the time to be celebrating. In fact, you should be bracing yourself for the worst. It all comes down to one man: Marco Rubio.
By covering up his male genitalia, a 12-week-old unborn fetus successfully tricked his parents into believing he was a female during an ultrasonic examination Tuesday.Though existent, the youngster’s private parts were small enough for him to be able to completely and utterly conceal them in a response to hearing the ultrasonic waves.Ultrasound technician Kathy Green had seen the trick before and knew just what was going on, but decided not to ruin the parents’ jubilation with the truth.“Kid’s a freakin’ genius,” Green said.
Late Friday night senior Brian Milton stumbled out of McKinley’s Irish Pub and let out a hoarse yell of “freshman!” at recent high school grad Liam Hamill with a look of deep satisfaction bordering on Zen-like peace.Cardinal reporters enjoying a drink at the local pub took the opportunity to interview the upperclassman who was swelling with pride at his recent assertion of alpha dominance.“This needed to be done, it was inevitable the moment he didn’t avert his eyes and lick my feet when we crossed paths.
Known for their quick starts, the Badgers impressed Saturday as they accelerated and never looked back right from the gate—the tailgate that is.
Immediately following her speech in Iowa last Saturday, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton personally handed out hundreds of homemade shortbread cookies.
At approximately 12:16 a.m. last Friday, UW-Madison first year Kyle Montgomery lightly tossed a white, regulation-sized pingpong ball across an eight-foot-long table and into a red cup on the other end without a bounce.The completion—a first for the freshman—had a trajectory which caused the bill to spin around the rim of the cup before splashing into the water which filled the bottom fourth of the cup.“I just made that cup!” exclaimed Montgomery, just loud enough to be heard over the blaring of Fetty Wap’s “Trap Queen.” “This is my first time doing this.
Apple Inc. CEO Tim Cook announced at the most recent Apple cult meeting Monday night that the company will be delivering the new iTree to consumers this winter, following the traditional sacrifice of a little green android.
Look how tricky he is.
Now that summer recess has kicked in, UW-Madison chemistry professor Earl Schweigert can finally commit more than three days a week toward his primary hobby and passion: fishing.