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Apple Inc. CEO Tim Cook announced at the most recent Apple cult meeting Monday night that the company will be delivering the new iTree to consumers this winter, following the traditional sacrifice of a little green android.
Look how tricky he is.
Now that summer recess has kicked in, UW-Madison chemistry professor Earl Schweigert can finally commit more than three days a week toward his primary hobby and passion: fishing.
Madison resident Collin Dennise went to a local Bath & Body Works last Saturday and tried to sell his mother’s corpse to the store.
Community members protest the state budget at the Capitol rotunda amid proposed cuts to university.
Two UW students became best friends after meeting in an ambulance en route to Meriter hospital for detox Saturday night.
Not-so-secretly homesick biology major Allen Markhoff, 19, committed a devastating error Tuesday afternoon, as—for the fourth time this semester—the anxious sophomore audibly, albeit inadvertently, referred to his professor as “Mom.”
Although he is now six semesters and three single apartments removed from University Housing, UW-Madison senior Kyle Hinckley still feels highly disadvantaged because of his freshman dorm location in UW’s Lakeshore area.
So as finals dawn on us once again, many of you will be looking for ways to less productively divert your time and eradicate stress (while preserving brain cells). And while, as a film student, watching films “technically” counts as studying for me, it remains the absolute perfect way to kill a couple of hours. So without further ado, I humbly present a list of films, from old favorites to new friends, with which to amuse, thrill, reflect on and altogether distract yourself this, or any, exam’s eve (and for bonus points, most of them are on Netflix).
As a polar bear used its teeth and claws to hastily tear him apart and consume his flesh, arctic wildlife preservationist Richard Graveman sincerely pondered why the animal he had worked so hard to protect was now on the verge of taking his life
INDIO, Calif.—Sources within the California Natural Resources Agency confirmed Wednesday that the state’s last usable water was spent cleansing someone’s anus at the Coachella Music Festival.
Local weatherman Chip Palladino believes his accurate forecasting is actually a product of his divine command. The weather anchor for Channel 9 News in Wausau had developed a reputation for pinpoint accuracy through even the most peculiar of weather events but has recently come forward to reveal his alleged supernatural powers.
MillerCoors corporation has converted these delivery trucks into bulletproof war machines packed with drunk infantrymen.
In a timely business and militaristic move that is already drawing widespread support, MillerCoors CEO and Commander-in-chief Thomas Lang has called for the brewing conglomerate’s military forces to invade the Anheuser-Busch-backed, possibly-mythical town known as ‘Whatever, USA.’