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Video games lacking in laughs
Finding humor in games is generally like trying to search for some really blunt needle in a stack of crap—it’s pretty unpleasant usually barely worth the effort. Writing in games is generally horrendous, so trying to garner any amount of hilarity out of stilted scenes is about the best you can get.
Column: Going through the five stages of grief after Wisconsin’s loss
Saturday night was sickening. When Traevon Jackson’s pull up jumper clanged off the rim and fell to the floor, the city of Madison fell with it. It’s nights like Saturday that make it hard to be a sports fan.
Column: A way-too-early look at next years' NCAA basketball preseason top five
Now that Connecticut has won the title, it’s time to do what we always do when the season ends: Think about next season. Here’s a preseason top five for next year in no particular order.
Side projects balance bland with fun
When a band is together for a long time, it is natural that individual musicians in the group will want to branch out. Whether it’s to start a full-fledged solo career or to have a band on the side—much to the chagrin of fans of any band that has had this happen—side projects exist. To top that off, most of the time they are terrible.
Column: NHL playoff picture slowly becoming clearer
Well, ladies and gentlemen, it’s almost that time of year. When fans start whipping out their rally towels, bragging rights against the team you hate the most are at an all-time high and men grow beards that could put a bear to shame.
Vampire Diaries Crunch graphic
No shame in guilty pleasure television
I’m sure you all have your guilty pleasures—those delightful bits of enjoyment you try to eradicate from your search histories in attempts to salvage your credibility—and I am no exception. Whether you enjoy the occasional supernatural romance or find some sort of bizarre pleasure in watching bourgeois housewives pull each others’ hair, these underrated—or maybe properly rated—TV trifles are both the joy and the bane of our existence. Here are some of my current favorite guilty pleasures. I won’t judge you if you don’t judge me.
Reading between the lines of book titles
We all like to rise above and pretend none of us judge a book by its cover, but we do. Oh, we so do, and we’re proud. Because this is Sparta! Or just a great line that I use absolutely any and every excuse to use all the time. What’s worse than judging a book by its cover though is when books with seemingly innocuous covers trap you. The sheer rage and nonexistent gamma radiation that courses through your veins when that happens is not fun, but a sight to behold nonetheless. We’ve all been there and there’s no shame in admitting that you enticed the neighbor’s cat to pee on that book. Yes, you were tricked that badly. We understand which is why I shall dedicate—nay construct an altar!—this week’s column to dismembering some of the many, exhaustingly many books that dare pull you in by innocent covers that hide the grisly and embarrassing details of its failure.
Column: Welcoming Atlético Madrid as threats to Spanish title
Spanish soccer has been widely criticized for essentially being a two-horse race for years.
Column: Scouts play too much importance on NFL Pro Days
The NFL Draft is fast approaching, and players’ stocks are rising and falling at a rate faster than Mel Kiper Jr.’s hair in the moments before he goes on set.
ABC’s ‘Resurrection’ shows broadcast TV still dead on arrival
Our parents will invariably tell us that they love their children equally, but we’re old enough to know it’s a big fat lie. There’s always one child in the family who seems to glow with a golden aura of promise and success—he earns good grades, says his please and thank you’s and controls his peers with the bat of an eyelash. Meanwhile, the other kid is off doing God knows what and getting into all sorts of trouble in a desperate attempt to garner any form of residual attention. I tend to think of traditional broadcast television as the latter of the two, and I feel incredibly guilty treating it as something of an ugly stepchild while I continue to be charmed by the allure of its cable counterpart. It’s time to see what the little rascal has been up to during those many months of neglect.
Column: Wichita State deserves credit for the impressive season they had
The Wichita State Shockers had a season for the record books, going an incredible 32-0 in the regular season. This great run was topped with a Missouri Valley Conference win and a No. 1 seed in the NCAA tournament.
Austin Wellens columnist mug
The worlds of Wes Anderson
So, “The Grand Budapest Hotel” came out and I saw it, but before we get to that I’d like to take a minute to frame the film with two masterpieces from last year.
Column: Arsene Wenger should be let go if he does not win the FA Cup
The first half of the English Premier League season was riddled with constant questions from fans and media alike regarding Arsenal’s status as an elite title contender.
Column: Watching your team in the NCAA tourney is as stressful as it comes
Fact: The NCAA tournament is trying to kill you.
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Adam Paris
Projecting the future of virtual reality
Virtual reality isn’t a new fad in the gaming world. Since its earliest inception, there have been hilarious depictions in popular culture of kids entering some futuristic deathtrap masquerading as a VR machine. There has already been many failed examples of trying to immerse players in a virtual environment, such as the quasi-VR Nintendo Virtual Boy that doubled as a retina destroyer.