Although a possible statewide ban on smoking in businesses remains controversial, the legislation continues to gain support among a core demographic of nerds, sissies and lamewads.

Thousands of pansies and wusses from around Wisconsin have taken time out from coughing pathetically or getting sand kicked in their faces to advocate their milquetoast position at council meetings and in floridly scripted editorials written from the inside of their protective plastic bubbles.

The potential electoral impact of these shrinking violets is unknown, as pollsters remain uncertain whether any of them would brave the hazards of traffic noise and direct sunlight to vote in a referendum or general election. However, Gov. Jim Doyle has already stated that if a ban does pass both houses of the state Legislature, he will totally wuss out and sign the bill into law.