Spielberg’s new movie suddenly makes people interested in the journalism industry

Spielberg the Great needs your praise to survive. It makes him stronger.

Image By: Image Courtesy of Savannah McHugh

Ah, the Pentagon Papers. Every high school learns about them in the shittiest and shortest way possible to ensure that every student can act like they know what they are, but, in reality, have absolutely no idea. They talked about one of the wars…. there was a court case I think…. it had to do with a newspaper, right?

Fret no longer tenth grade U.S. history teacher that is slightly balding and always smells like cheese, Spielberg has just made your job much easier with his new movie, “The Post”. The film covers The Washington Post’s perspective of this time while creating a shocking revelation for the public — journalists have actually achieved some things!

 One man, Ignor Ant, expressed his gratitude for the press after watching the film.

“Yeah, I guess journalists have done some okay things. Someone should’ve used Streep to get that point across a long time ago. The wolf may be old, but she is still howling—if you know what I mean.”

While the star-studded cast and nationwide hindsight hatred of Nixon served as an attraction point for many viewers, the flick still made an Earth-shattering claim that the journalism industry holds some sort of power and responsibility to the American public. 

The movie also encourages those watching to understand another, even more shocking conclusion — women are capable of leading in the workplace! Despite literally no one believing in her, including herself, Streep’s character, Katharine Graham, successfully executed the publication of the Pentagon Papers. 

Thus, Spielberg validated the goals and feelings of journalism majors across the country, which, after all, is all that matters in these days of the dominating liberal agenda. While it will not make Christmases with your STEM-fueled aunts and uncles more enjoyable, it does substantiate minuscule worth in the dying profession that will soon be taken over by robots. 

I guess Spielberg should make a movie about lawyers and postal service workers too!

Almanac is our home for satire, sex, creative writing and much more. Satirical articles are intended as such.

Comments powered by Disqus

Please note All comments are eligible for publication in The Daily Cardinal.