almanac

College is...

or What People Tell You When You’re an Undergrad for Seven Years

A buffer before you have to deal with “the real world”
Three jobs and a full class load
Vitally important to your future
Somehow still a privilege not a right
Easier than it used to be, so stop complaining
Constructed by people who used to “have it hard”
Too P.C.
Not the place to talk about race, sex, or culture
Pointless if you’re an English major
Failing to teach people to write
Pointless if you’re an arts major
Failing to teach people to creatively solve problems
Pointless if you’re a philosophy major
Failing to teach students to think of the big picture
A place to take risks, don’t be afraid of mistakes
Hugely important, so don’t screw it up
An opportunity to network for your career
An opportunity for employers to get unpaid interns
A good time to travel
An unpaid internship and tuition of at least $10,488 a year
A good time to start saving money
An unpaid internship and tuition of at least $10,488 a year
A good time to follow your passions
An unpaid internship and tuition of at least $10,488 a year
A place to make new interesting friends
But don’t fall in with the wrong crowd
A good time to figure what you want to do with your life
Only supposed to last four years so hurry up and decide
A good time to listen
A good time to learn who, exactly, is worth listening to.

Almanac is our home for satire, sex, creative writing and much more. Satirical articles are intended as such.

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