almanac

Guy wearing suit at orientation already halfway to business degree

Incoming junior Nick Rinaldi contemptuously looks over his underdressed classmates, many of whom sport sneakers.

Prospective business major Nick Rinaldi arrived at freshmen orientation sporting a two-piece suit, enabling him to meet roughly half of the Wisconsin School of Business’ graduation requirements.
In accordance with School of Business bylaws, Rinaldi was immediately sent to meet with Dean François Ortalo-Magné by his SOAR advisor upon checking in.
“When I received word about [Rinaldi’s] appearance, I knew I had to have him come to my office right away,” Ortalo-Magné said.
While the majority of SOAR attendees donned shorts and other typical summer garb, Rinaldi stood out in his outfit which featured black Cole Haan dress shoes and a shiny blue tie. Though he was not a direct admit to the Business School from his application, Rinaldi was accepted to the management program and granted junior standing immediately.
According to Ortalo-Magné, the majority of the undergraduate degree requirements relate to dress and networking, so it was only appropriate to fasttrack the 18-year-old to upperclassmen status.
“I was bored scrolling through LinkedIn one night and decided to peek at some of the degree requirements,” Rinaldi told Cardinal reporters. “I saw all these courses about where to buy nice suits and stuff so I figured why not wear one to orientation?”
Other students expressed confusion about Rinaldi’s fashion decision on an 88 degree day.
“Who was that guy?” SOAR group mate Ryan Sköglund inquired. “I thought he was going to be promoting a Mormon student organization or something.”
Another student, who spoke with The Cardinal under the condition of anonymity, described Rinaldi as a “sweaty tryhard.”
With his sights set on graduating in 2019, Rinaldi appeared unfazed by his peers’ comments.
“You can never be too well prepared,” he said. “I was rehearsing firm, dry handshakes with my dad last night.”
However, according to Ortalo-Magné, Rinaldi could have been better equipped.
“If [Rinaldi] had brought business cards, he would be a senior right now,” he said.

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