almanac

Hologram Tupac to testify during Suge Knight’s next trial

Hologram Tupac was asked to put on a shirt for his courtroom appearance. He declined to do so, saying to the bailiff, “Nah.”

Image By: Creative Commons-Dawk Suice

Earlier this week, Suge Knight came forward with breaking news concerning the murder of hip-hop legend Tupac Shakur in 1996. He alleges that his ex-wife, Sharitha, and the Death Row security chief, Reggie White, are the culprits in the murder of Shakur. Knight has also stated that he believes he was the target of the murder attempt and Tupac was simply in the way.
Following the release of these allegations, Hologram Tupac, first revealed in 2012, has come forward to testify at Knight’s upcoming trial concerning murder and attempted murder charges. When Cardinal staffers asked this digitally fabricated Tupac about his sudden decision, he simply replied, “I didn’t choose the court life, the court life chose me.”
When we followed up by asking how a hologram like himself planned on entering the courtroom, he described a technique using reflective glass that would make him appear 3-D. As he described this technique, referred to as “Pepper’s Ghost,” he emphasized that he was not a hologram.
Upon further questioning, Hologram Tupac refused to comment on whether the real Tupac Shakur was alive or not, but continued to say that he would not tell us the content of his future testimony because “Snitches get stitches.” When we brought up that his testimony in court would be considered snitching by the laws of the playground, he disintegrated into little bits of light signifying the end of the interview.
Suge Knight and his lawyers declined to comment.

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