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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Saturday, April 20, 2024

Walker plans to amp up racism, sexism to fill hole left by Trump in preparation for presidential run in 2020

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Sources within Gov. Scott Walker’s campaign have confirmed early reports that Walker’s campaign strategy will undergo a major theme overhaul in anticipation of another presidential campaign in 2020.

Though the election is quite a ways away, Walker and his team are already rebranding his image to more closely appeal to the base of out-of-touch, chauvinist and uneducated Americans he desperately needs to win the Republican primary.

Specific details from Walker’s camp include reports that he has already settled on a new campaign slogan of “Make America Great Again, More.” The assumption here, one source said, is that the same Americans who supported Republican nominee Donald Trump will be even more supportive of Walker, because Walker wants to make America “even more better-er than Trump does.” 

Other themes Walker plans on emphasizing are his new-and-improved racism, which will include repeating false and misleading statistics on crime committed by illegal immigrants and generalizing entire religions as terrorists.

Walker will also heavily focus on his new initiative of building a massive border wall that is similar, but not quite the same, as Trump’s. Walker could be heard saying “We’re gonna build a wall, and we’re gonna make Canada pay for it” in one sound-bite leaked to The Daily Cardinal.

Of course, Walker will attempt to step up his sexism as well. Walker has been criticized for his attempts to stifle Planned Parenthood in the past, but during the 2020 election cycle, Walker will reportedly make a big push to repeal the 19th Amendment, taking traditional Republican sexism to new heights.

It remains to be seen if Walker’s bold positions will help him win the presidency in 2020, but if Trump’s antics are any indication, Walker could find success in good old fashioned hate speech.

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