almanac

Top nine things you can do to repay your debt to Harambe the great:

1. Actually visit Cleveland, Ohio

2. Spit on your local zookeeper

3. Put your child in the nearest pit to honor Harambe

4. Slowly evolve back into a gorilla

5. At 12:07 stand 42 degrees away 

from the sun and shed one tear

6. Try adding kale to your favorite soup

7. Kiss your nearest gorilla

8. Leave the EU

9. Prove Bush did it

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