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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Thursday, March 28, 2024
Chameleon-type man

Chameleon-type man able to blend in with all surroundings

Just as chameleons are able to blend in with their habitat to hide from predators, local man Jason Bower has developed the ability to be fully camouflaged in any environment.

To achieve the elusiveness he covets, Bower dons a specially designed outfit with a distinct pattern that universally fits right in with any surrounding backdrop. Regardless of Bower’s location, be it civilization or nature, he is able to completely submerge himself into the landscape and go completely unseen.

“My camo costume works everywhere,” Bower told Daily Cardinal reporters, who were unable to see their interviewee. “I put it on whenever I don’t want to be visible. So far it has offered me full protection from any potential enemies along with my ex-girlfriend.”

The outfit, according to Bower, was inexpensive and is not unique. He explained that many others have a similar suit or exact duplicate, though they cannot be seen. The garment was originally designed specifically for wooded areas but proved to be equally effective in all settings, prompting its owners to wear it all over.

Bower was unwilling to disclose how he obtained it, claiming he was under an oath of secrecy.

“I can’t tell you how we get them,” Bower said. “That’s classified intel.”

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