Sarah Palin announces new career as taxidermist

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After an unsuccessful vice presidential candidacy and a canceled reality TV show, Sarah Palin has set her tireless sights elsewhere: the booming business of taxidermy.

Palin announced on Fox News Wednesday night that she will be opening a store in Wasilla, Alaska to sell her stuffed animals and preserved hides.

“I love everything about animals,” Palin said. “Shooting them, eating them, having them mounted in my living room, wearing their fur. This job is a natural fit.”

While Palin is open to allowing hunters to bring in their own animal carcasses for preservation, she is currently only using those from her husband Todd. He is an avid hunter and has been trying to keep up with his wife’s new business.

“I try to kill a few deer or pheasants a day,” Todd Palin said. “But Sarah just goes so fast. She stuffs ‘em faster than anything I’ve ever seen.”

Palin says she finds the entire process of taxidermy to be therapeutic.

“As a woman who has been objectified by the media, I find solace in being able to objectify subordinate beings myself,” Palin said. “Literally turning animals into objects is pretty darn fun.”

This is a piece of satirical news that is not intended to be taken as fact

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