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Cary Grant stars in the true life story of a film columnist

By: Brad Boron /The Daily Cardinal  - September 12, 2007




20070912_arts_bond_story
Picture a man wearing James Bond’s tuxedo and Indiana Jones’ fedora with Jennifer Aniston by his side, and you’ve got Brad Boron down to the bone.

Right now, you don’t really know me and what I’m about, and I don’t really know all of you, so this column is sort of like a blind date. (Hey… you look really nice. I’m so glad you could come tonight… oh, you like my shirt? Thanks.)

Like any decent first date, though, learning what makes each other tick is the whole purpose of the date. Because you don’t know me and (hopefully) you’ll be reading my film thoughts every week, I think it’s important that you know what makes me tick as a moviegoer and a film buff:

I believe the greatest piece of clothing ever worn on film was Indiana Jones’ fedora. Consolation prizes go to Charlie Chaplin’s bowler and any one of James Bond’s tuxedos.

In a similar vein, I have what some may consider a sick, obsessive knowledge of all things 007. Expect some serious Daniel Craig ass-kissing and/or Sean Connery rhapsodizing.

Movies exist outside of the United States, and there are more than enough great ones to make walking into the foreign film section of your local video store worthwhile. I’d start with “Pan’s Labyrinth,” “The Seventh Seal” or “Amélie.” But believe me—there are more.

Even though we don’t look or sound alike, I’d still want Cary Grant to star in a movie about my life. I believe that Han Solo shot first, not Greedo. (I’m fine with that.)

I wish Zach Braff would only make his own movies; “Garden State” was his and is a wonderful work, if not entirely flawless. “The Ex” was not his and was a piece of work, if not entirely flawed.

I don’t think liking musicals makes you any less of a man.

I am an unabashed Woody Allen apologist. I give the Woodster a lot of leeway not because I think everything he’s done is great, but because he’s one of the most literate filmmakers in the history of the medium. He can reference Groucho Marx and Ingmar Bergman with equal ease, and his use of many different genres is unparalleled. Allen has written and directed dramas, comedies, a musical, a German expressionist-style film and more. Although his experimentation doesn’t work all the time, the point is he tries to replicate various styles and adds his own spin. Mark my words—there will be at least one column this year about my unparalleled love of “Annie Hall.”

I wish more people would watch “Lawrence of Arabia.”

As macabre as it sounds, I’ll always be fascinated by the character of Hannibal Lecter. But I was most intrigued when I saw him as nothing but a monster, spawned from nothingness, and evil incarnate. That’s why I will never see ‘Hannibal Rising.’ I don’t want to lose that illusion.

Even though Spider-Man was my childhood hero, I appreciate the dark complexity of ‘Batman Begins,’ my pick for the best superhero movie ever made. I respect and appreciate “Citizen Kane,” but I love “Casablanca.”

I’d like to have my friends see me dating Angelina Jolie, but I’d probably rather spend time with Jennifer Aniston (Jen—call me!).

I think that if you love Johnny Depp but have only seen him as Jack Sparrow or Willy Wonka then you don’t really know him well enough to love him.

But more than anything, I believe in the uniting power of film. I love the feeling of experiencing with my fellow movie-goers something amazing on the big screen, and laughing or jumping collectively with the rest of the audience. I love sharing my favorite movies with the people I care about. And I want to share movies with you this year; if I can get you to watch one more great film you wouldn’t have considered seeing, or to appreciate an old favorite a little more, I’ll have done my job.

So can I see you again some time?

If you believe Greedo shot first, Brad will gladly convince you otherwise. E-mail him at boron@wisc.edu.



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